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Friday, May 29, 2009

Bacon Loafers (or shoes if you insist)

Your feet are important... give them some love with bacon loafers. Basically, I would walk around the globe and scissor kick F. Gump in the face with these bad boys on. That is movie magic.

Check out the shoes from geekologie and buy them for $60 here.

Bacon Apple Pie

I am not sure I can come up with a better food product that sums up this great and silly ass country we call america...
than a bacon apple pie.

I want to lick it with my tongue and chew it with my teeth. So good.

Bacon Cotton Candy

Cochon 555 is a traveling series of food events featuring a competition of acclaimed local chefs cooking with heritage pigs.

So, this traveling pig show happens in 11 cities all over america. One of the highlights was using a piece of bacon to hold up sugary sweet cotton candy! Bacon as a handle!

Check out bacon cotton candy and more fun pig eats!

Bacon DEALS!


ALERT! Amazon is currently having a sale on J & D's products!

Get your bacon condiments on bitches!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Bacon Dogs BANNED!

Unhappy with simply banning gay marriage - it seems bacon wrapped hotdogs are finding themselves banned in Los Angeles. TheFmly.com writes: "Shed a tear Los Angeles, for our beloved streetside snacks will soon cease to exist. According to an article on Digital Journal, “The Department of Public Health in Los Angeles has recently banned the selling of bacon-wrapped hot dogs.” The city is taking away our right to bacon dogs!? No way."


Bacon Donuts

San Francisco is often at the cutting edge of civilization (or decadence, depending on your point of view). I don't know what to call this most recent development, but I know what I like.

SF's Dynamo Donut and Coffee, specializing in what they call "donuts for grown-ups," offers a maple-bacon donut. This game-changer, part of a lineup which includes lesser beignets such as lemon-thyme-honey and banana dulce de leche, has the local Prius-jockeys beating down doors and daily depleting Dynamo's stock by mid-morning.

I thought it was progress when Krispy Kreme came to my area, but now I recognize their donuts for the pathetic pieces of shit they are. I want the real thing, and I want it now.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Bacon Jerky

Bacon Freak makes bacon jerky (of course they do, they are freaks). Take a look at all the flavors that ride on top of wonderfully dehydrated bacon meat.

"Bacon is meat candy" indeed...

Bacon Beer - Rauchbier

Beer. Bacon. Beer. Bacon.
Rauchbier is a beer that tastes like bacon. Yes, bacon (doesn't actually have bacon in it). See how it is made.

"Even if the brew tastes somewhat strange at the first swallow, do not stop, because soon you will realize that your thirst will not decrease and your pleasure will visibly increase."

That being said, this is a smoked beer and while it slides into your mouth it tastes quite a bit like bacon. Hooray for life.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Bacon BROWNIES


The unholy(heh heh) union of brownies and bacon (two of my favorite things) is upon us... and it looks delicious.

What else is there to say? Click here and get baking!

Bacon Salt - "Everything Should Taste Like Bacon"

We all know about "J & D's" Baconaise... now let me introduce you to Bacon Salt.

Yes, Bacon *Salt*. You can now add the flavor and power of bacon to everyday items like popcorn, without resorting to frying up yet another pound of that sweet sweet pigflesh. We are currently flooding J & D's inbox with requests for samples to test back here in the MOERBACON labs.

Go here and check out baconsalt for yourself.

Bacon Chips

You can lead a chip to bacon, but you can't make it inter-dimensionally join as one . Or so we thought. Some how against all odds, those funky Koreans figure out how to get the bacon and chips of the world to not only have a torrid affair, but to live in sin. Science rules.

See if you can find a bag of these bacon chips and push them down your throat.

Bacon and Eggs Adult Costume to help you swap sex fluids

I know what you are thinking... Now all I need is a skillet shaped bed and some bacon lube. Trust me, I was thinking the exact same thing.

So, take a look in your pockets and see if you have an extra $50 to trade in for unlimited nights of greasy pleasures.

Bacon and egg costume ftw.

Bacon iPod Shuffle Case to get your morning nibbles on

What song will be next?! Who knows! Especially after you eat your goddamn ipod shuffle with your face knives.

Anyway, rock on over to gizmodo to check out the bacon shuffle.

Thanks Nathan for the heads up.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Bacon Skateboards

Shred the bacon gnaR. Bacon Skateboards represents some of the finest transition skaters in Australia. Check out the bacon schwagathon at baconskateboards.com

Celebrate Mo's Bacon Bar

People do awesome things. This is one of them. Chocolate bacon incredible-ness. Eat it.

"Rub your thumb over the chocolate bar to release the aromas of smoked applewood bacon flirting with deep milk chocolate. "

Go buy this bacon chocolate bar and stuff it into your face.
Remember: Consume within 8 weeks

How It's Made - BACON

Bacon Eggs condemn creationists to hell

I really do enjoy a good fantasy. Especially when the fantasy comes to life in the form of giant eggs constructed from yummy bacon.

Go here and read about the bacon eggs.

Note:
I would like to fight Mr. Guy to the death.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

The BaconLube taste test

Wake N' Bacon

It sucks waking up. You are robbing banks with patty hearst, jumping sharks with the fonz, galloping on hippos with pablo escobar.... Then you wake up... Bleary eyed and robbed of your fantasies.

For the conflicted dreamers, there is hope:

WAT?!?!

"An alarm clock that wakes you up with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon."
Wake N' Bacon

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Bacon Strips Earrings

For a mere 9 dollah fitty cent... you too can pretty up your lobes (of the ear) with some tasty meat bits.

Bacon earrings rock your head.

Bacon Lamp retards your already retarded light.

That 120 watt light bulb too bright for ya? Well, here is a lampshade you can surely enjoy in your dining room for maybe a few days or until you give up and eat the god damn thing.

Check out the bacon lamp!

Sizzle your time away with a bacon watch

I would imagine that it would be a little difficult to resist eating your wrist off.

Check out the bacon watch.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Bacon USB - Eat them and improve your memory

Tired of carting around your warez on your lame scandisk cruzer?? Well, here is what you need to survive.

This tasty usb keychain trinket comes in three meat bits.

(Chicken Wing)
(Chicken Drum Stick)
(BBQ Pork)
Wait what?! that is BACON.. BBQ pork my ass.

Each is 4GB and $28 bucks a pop.

Buy a bacon usb drive here.

Bacon Mints enhance your breath

Situation: Your pants are down around your God damn ankles... You are holding your pretty little vixen by the hips and you pull her in close. Suddenly, she whimpers... pulls away and covers her nose in disgust.

Outcome: You cry on the inside... dart out the door with a sub-machine gun laying waste to all in your path.

Solution: Bacon Mints

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo

I should photoshop a pp7 in his hand, but I think the bacon tux would make even the likes of James Bond shake with glorious glee and excitement.

Take a look !!!! Bacon Tuxedo, ftw.

Monkey-faced Pig can still make bacon

Well what do we have here?? a cute little piggie... Just waiting (begging) to be chopped up into strips of bacon goodness.

Take a look at this pig that has some weirdo monkey face. I freakin' love this swine freak.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

The Bacon Explosion

Once in a great while we are blessed with creations that surpass our present understanding of possibility. Things like: Anime Contacts, face transplants, and IRL shamwow.

The wtf of all wtf's has crash landed into our growing baconsphere. The Bacon Explosion: a miasma of sausage, thick cut bacon, and barbecued spices. Haggis can cry its way back over the pond.

Get the recipe here:

Friday, May 8, 2009

Holy Bacon Friday

Judaism has Gehenna, the Ancient Greeks have Hades, the Mormons have Spirit Prison. If eternally waiting to be judged, or repeatedly pushing a rock up a hill just to have it roll down on you sounds terrible... Enter Baconism: Baconism as quoted by The Holy Church of Bacon is "the study and worship of bacon." Bacon disciples, study hard. A Bacon Eden awaits you in the afterlife. You need neither repent, have gold coins on your eyes, or die in combat to take part.

This beautiful rendition of "bacon sausage land" was created by a bright soul of Baconism: Carl Warner

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Bacon Pillow for delicious dreamings.

I sure do wish I owned this beauty of a head-rester. From what I am gathering on flickr, this was made special order.
Hey natalie...
Do the world a favor and make more of these.
Many more.

You can check out her design here.

Bacon Floss - remove bacon with bacon

So ya got some bacon bits stuck in your face? Get them out with bacon flavored floss.

"Dentists recommend flossing and we recommend bacon! Now you can improve your dental hygiene while enjoying the amazing flavor of crispy fried bacon. Is there anything bacon can’t improve?"

Damn right.. check out the bacon floss here !

Bacon and Eggs Crocheted Plushie

Toys are freakin' awesome... Denise Ferguson made a fun little bacon and egg fellow to start your day off right.

Check out her other creations like the strip o bacon !
Nice work Denise!

Bacon Bikini from ingamenow.com girls

Two ladies wearing nothing but bacon.

( . Y . ) + BACON = :)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Bacon Automation

Beloved bacon machines will soon go the way of the amphicar. Everywhere, Dyson Airblades are calmly phasing out these masters of communicable disease. Run, if not canter to the last vestiges of unsanitary Bacon Automation. (subways, perma fair grounds, bowling alleys, Glasgow)







Photo Credit: Jesse Blatz

Bacon Math

Average length of a bacon strip: 6 inches. Inches in a foot: 12. So lets call it 2 bacon strips a foot.There are 5280 Feet in a mile. That means there are 10,560 strips of bacon per mile. On Average, 15% of the weight of a top hog is bacon worthy. An average top hog weight is 265 pounds. That means there are about 40 pounds of bacon per hog. (39.75, I rounded). An average strip of bacon weighs roughly 1oz. On average there are 16 regularly sliced strips of bacon in 1 pound. This means there are 640 strips of luscious bacon per hog. Average Circumference of the earth: 25,000 miles 264,000,000 Strips of bacon laid end to end would circle the earth. if we divided this number by 640, we find that 412,500 hogs would supply the bacon. If we divide 25,000 (earths circumference) by 3.14 we find that the earths diameter is around 7961 miles. Divide this by 2 and we have 3980 miles as our radius. It would take 42,038,216 strips of bacon to extend from our molten core, to earths crust. On average, an American eats bacon 13 times per year. Lets say they eat an average of 3 strips each time. On average, Americans eat 39 strips of bacon a year. If we multiply this number by the current US population we get 11,858,329,236 bacon strips are eaten per year in the US. If we divide this by our bacon earth circumference, we find that the United States eats its way around the earth in bacon 44.19 times a year.

Put it this way: Every week, Americans eat enough bacon strips to circle the earth.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Happy Cinco De Mayo

Viva Mexico!
They trounced the French 147 years ago, keeping the hog farms of Puebla snail free. What else!? In 1917, president Venustiano Carranza shafted the German penned Zimmerman Telegram, which called for Mexico to invade the United States. They are the proud creators of the bacon wrapped hotdog, a double entendre of hog brilliance.

Planning a visit to Mexico? Head over to Mexican bacon to read up on cuisine that wont create a parasite mariachi band in your bread basket.

loyal baconists: Francis Bacon wishes you a Happy Cinco De Mayo.

Green Bacon (or any other color YOU like)

I do understand it is a tad late for St. Patty's day, but hey... use a different color and make it some other special day bacon! So, here is a way to make your bacon green!

Surprise.. its food coloring...

The world is now better.

Yummy Gummy Bacon

$5 bucks sure can get you a lot these days... The fellows over at thinkgeek are letting you swap your fiver for a pack of gummy bacon.

  • Looks like real uncooked bacon - but it's candy!
  • Each package contains 4 (20g) slices of gummy bacon.
  • Tastes like strawberry. wtf? make it taste like bacon.
  • Dimensions:each strip is about 5.25" long

Monday, May 4, 2009

Hover Bacon - Can you imagine?

renametheswineflu.com

Swine Flu.. Blasphemy! 300,000 Pigs have been murdered in Egypt. Precious bacon is at stake. END THE PIG WITCH HUNT. Help rename the swine flu.

Canned Bacon for your post-apocalyptic needs

Your chainsaw is still purring after that ridiculously bloody Zombie battle in your backyard. You seek solace in your basement shelter (along with the three lingerie models that you are protecting) and you soon notice that you have the grumblies going on in your gut.

Time to break out a can of bacon and silence your hunger pains.

Bacon Chocolate

"Two equally obsessive foods come together in one perfectly balanced bit of savory, smoky, and sweet. Applewood smoked bacon, Alder wood smoked salt, and deep milk chocolate."

Om nom nom nom nom... go check it out at vosgeschocolate.com.

Beerito: a symphony of bacon, beer and deep frying.

Do you still have a soul? If so... you might be interested in trading it in for this... the beerito.

"Then we bake porter-marinated bacon and not only chop it up in to bits for the beerito filling, but then lay two strips in the beerito. The beerito is then wrapped in porter-soaked tortillas, wrapped with two thicker porter-marinated strips of bacon. It's then dipped in beer batter and deep fried." -Sheniferous

BAKON VODKA warms and stops your heart

Why.. *hic* don't you give me another... *hic* swig of that delicious *hic*... swine juice.

Bakon Vodka is a seriously great way to use that utilitarian communist invention we all know and love to get thru our daily lives. The real deal commie pig.

Porkgasm

So... for my entire life I have been doing thanksgiving completely wrong. Well, I guess you can thank the Indians (see Native Americans for more information) for that.

Go check out porktopia.com 's crazy awesome feast of feasts. The porkgasm is outstanding.

Extra bonus: ! bacon pig !

Baconpops - for your grease tooth.

Thank you for making these.
"Each pop is handmade with Vermont maple and honest to goodness real, ORGANIC THICK CUT HEARTY BACON…no shortcuts, only the BEST ingredients are used."

Give your face a ride with baconpops... pig-flesh crafted the way God intended.

Supreme Bacon Man of Ultimate Power

Judging by those hips and obvious sexiness, I would probably say this is a bacon woman, but the creators of this seemingly transgendered bacon person say it is a man. Either way... this is a total win for humanity as a whole. Bacon voltron, next?

I leave it up to you to go check it out and see for yourself.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Bacon Bloody Mary


Bacon Infused Vodka. For real. Bacon and booze have been smashed together to create a super villain. This tastes like a smokey, liquid BLT. Church restaurant in Boston is serving these bloody wonders. The garnish is a bacon wrapped sundried tomato.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Don't break up with bacon.

Bacon Bandages


Bandy Dandy Bacon Aids. Put them on your wounds.

See the rest of the Bacon and Meat collection here:

Bacon politically destroys fries

I mean, we all knew this, but here are the numbers.

Bacon freakin' Hitler

Well, some bag of douche had to do it and completely ruin perfectly good strips of bacon.

More on his bacon-nazi ways.. go here.

Baconnaise - the delicious bastard child of bacon and may0

Move over crappy-ass helman's. Say hello to Baconnaise. A real mayonnaise with balls... pig balls.

For a way to spend your hard-earned GWs, go to jdfoods.net and buy yourself, family, friends, pets, television.. etc etc.. a few jars.

Featured Bacon: North Country Smoke House


Not For Beginners:
1.) Makes Oscar Mayer taste like poison
2.) House smells of bacon for 2 days
3.) Slow cured, extra lean pork bellys.

Try this one: nitrate free, uncured fruit wood smoked heaven.

Weave ur God damn bacon up into power cheese tube.

Weaving bacon takes skill, so this is what it should look like. Once you have your finished product, you can easily construct it into either blankets for napping or as the fellows at holytaco... a cheesy treat of bacon superiority.

To see the finished bacon cheese tube, go to holytaco.com.